See With Your Fingers
My son David drives a 1993 Honda Accord given to him by his grandparents. It’s got over 300,000 kms and still works great. It needs the odd repair, but for the most part it’s a reliable vehicle for him.
Last night we did a little father/son repair on the old Honda. David ran out of water last week and we discovered he has a leaky water pump. Sadly, a new water pump will be over $700, which is probably worth more than the car, so we have to improvise. We drained the radiator of the water we poured in to get him back on the road last week. We then added anti-freeze/coolant, as well as some ‘stop-leak’ goop which will hopefully plug the leaks in the water pump.
The tricky bit was taking out, and then putting back in, the drain plug at the bottom of the radiator. Of course it was jammed into a very hard to reach location with minimal room to manoeuvre and get an appropriate wrench wrapped around it. And, wouldn’t you know it, it was snug for the entire length of the threads so we never really got to experience the joy of free spinning it with our fingers.
Decades ago I was very mechanically adept. I rebuilt a Fiat sports car when I was 16, and then did lots of major work to my 1964 Valiant years later. And, I would tinker on cars and small engines for a few years after that, but I really haven’t done much mechanical work for over 20 years.
However, tonight as we were struggling to get the pliers wrapped around this plastic butterfly-headed bolt I began to hearken back to my back-yard mechanic days when I had a valuable skill I have all but lost: I began to see with my fingers again. You guys who are mechanically inclined know exactly what I mean. There are so many occasions when you can’t see the nut or the bolt you need to loosen or tighten, and you learn to see with your fingers. You feel around with your fingers and adjust your tools accordingly. You don’t have to see anything with your eyes, you learn to ‘see’ it by feeling it.
I was trying to teach David this lesson. He was having a heck of a time learning to see with his fingers and not with his eyes. He began to get it, but we both realized this is something that comes with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
A good mechanic doesn’t necessarily need to see much of what he has to deal with. Sure, it would be great to be able to see very clearly the part that needs to be dealt with, and the nuts, bolts or screws needing to loosened, but that is just not the reality of many mechanical scenarios. So a good mechanic learns to see things differently. He can either whine and complain he can’t see much, or he can learn to ‘see’ things differently and get the job done.
This got me thinking about our walk with Jesus. We are called to walk by faith, not by sight, and that can be pretty tough sometimes. There are many situations when we can’t see very clearly what the Lord is up to… God, is this you? What on earth is going on? Am I hearing you clearly? Why aren’t you speaking Lord? Where are you Lord?
Like a mechanic, we can either get frustrated we can’t see things very well, or we can learn to ‘see’ without our eyes. We can learn to see with the eyes of faith. We learn to see beyond what is seen, to that which is unseen – and that takes faith. The only way we can do that is by walking closely with Jesus, hearing His voice, and by knowing His will through scripture. This enables us to see beyond our circumstances to the bigger picture.
Just like a good mechanic who sees with his fingers, we can learn to see with the eyes of faith to understand what the will of the Lord is. So let’s choose to ‘see with our fingers’ as-it-were, and practice walking by faith, not by sight.
Hebrews 11:1
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
2 Corinthians 5:7
“For we live by faith, not by sight.”
Ephesians 5:17
“Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
Luke 4:4
“Jesus answered, “t is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.’””
Just Do It – Completely!
Obey.
Not a command we really like hearing do we?
Obedience.
Again, not something we are eager to do.
If we take a look at our lives, at first glance there is not a lot of obedience to which we are called. We enjoy remarkable freedoms. Being free from tyrannical rule we are not commanded to obey on a regular basis, so we are free from the need to obey regularly.
Or are we?
Because we live in a democratic society we believe in the Rule of Law. Therefore, we must obey the law. If we don’t we will suffer the consequences. Sure, we can choose whether or not to obey the law, but choosing to disobey the law will certainly lead to very unpleasant consequences and repercussions.
It has been said that freedom is not the license to do what you want, but the liberty to do what you aught.
The law in our society, that which we have chosen to obey, actually enables us to be free.
Have you had any run-ins with the law? I have.
I have had very few run ins, but at one point in my younger more impetuous and impatient days I had a bad habit of speeding. I had a number of encounters with the law (aka “speeding tickets”) that led me to ultimately lose my license. For a very short period of time, thanks to the kindness and mercy of the Manitoba Motor Vehicle branch, my dear wife had to drive me everywhere. The lesson of that weekend, repeated to me over and over again as we drove together, reformed me and I have not had a problem since. (For the most part.)
The freedoms we enjoy as a society are only possible because we choose to submit to and obey the laws that govern us. Obedience is critical to freedom. Partial obedience doesn’t really work either. Not speeding on most of the road and only speeding on the part of the road with the radar trap is not an excuse. Total obedience is required.
King Saul didn’t really get this principle. He was asked by God to do something fairly specific. He was commanded to totally wipe out the Amalekites, including all their livestock. He obeyed – partially. He didn’t wipe out the livestock. He took the livestock as the spoils of war under pressure from his men. However, he told Samuel the prophet he kept the livestock to sacrifice to the Lord. That was a ruse of course; he caved in to the pressure of his men.
You see, he was more concerned what the men thought about him than God.
He feared men more than God. Because of this, he obeyed partially. And, that was his downfall.
Samuel told him he messed up and didn’t obey God. He insisted he had not messed up, he had obeyed. He didn’t fess up to his mess up until after Samuel pronounced God’s judgement on him. But then it was too late. God told him the Kingdom was being taken from him and given to another. (King David of course.)
Saul caved in to the pressure of men and shorted God. He didn’t obey God completely. He tried to please man and God. That doesn’t work.
What about you? Is there some area in your life you know God has spoken to you about? Has He asked you to obey Him in something you are not doing? Or, have you partially obeyed Him? Are you caving in to the fear of man?
Disobedience, or partial obedience to God does not end well. God wants our whole hearts and our complete obedience. Even Jesus said if we love Him we will keep His commands. The commands of God lead to our freedom. Obedience to God leads to freedom and life.
When God speaks to us through His rhema and logos Word we need to obey completely, wholeheartedly. Blessing is found in our obedience to God. And if you mess up, then fess up – don’t try to hide it.
So, when it comes to God’s Word just do it – completely.
1 Samuel 15:22
“But Samuel replied: ‘Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.’”
Luke 11:28
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”
John 14:23
“Jesus replied, ‘Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.’”
Spiritual Dementia
My father is almost 90 years old. He suffers from dementia.
He has been slowly declining into reduced ability for a few years now. Initially it began with a simple loss of memory. He could communicate well, but would forget the odd detail and need to be reminded. He then began to forget more and more details. He would ask certain questions over and over, forgetting that we had already discussed what he was asking.
He has always been very pleasant and lights up when he sees me or talks on the phone. In fact, he used to always answer the phone, but now he never does.
However, there are other symptoms surrounding his dementia that are fairly concerning. He withdrew more and more in social contexts into his own little world. He became quite isolated. He would not initiate conversation, but would respond when asked a question. He slowly grew more and more detached. Now, when asked a question, he often replies with, “I don’t know”, or “I forget.”
One of the most disconcerting effects of his dementia is Dad’s loss of appetite. He just doesn’t eat or drink much anymore. And, it’s actually that which may ultimately lead to his death. He may slowly starve himself to death. No one can make him eat or drink – he must choose to do so himself.
Watching the impact of dementia on my father has been very difficult. There is really not much we can do except love him in the midst of this and ensure he is well cared for. It is hard to see a man who was so strong, robust, and full of vitality, decline into such a state.
Seeing Dad’s decline has led me to recognize a similar malady negatively impacting the lives of many Christian men – I call it “Spiritual Dementia”. The big difference between physical dementia and Spiritual Dementia is that Spiritual Dementia is self-inflicted. Let me explain…
I have seen many men over the years who begin to “forget”. They choose not to remember what God has done in their lives, what God has said to them over the years, how the Lord has worked in them and through them. They choose to withdraw and isolate themselves. They do not interact with other believers. They do not create community or choose to be part of Christian community. They slowly become more and more detached.
When you ask these men about what the Lord has been saying to them, what He has said to them, or how He is leading them, they often respond with, “I don’t know”, or “I forget”. But perhaps that which most greatly leads to their spiritual demise is their gradual refusal to ‘eat’ – to feed on God’s Word. Jesus said we don’t live on bread alone, but on the Word of God. We have to choose to feed on God’s Word or we will slowly starve ourselves. If we refuse to feed on God’s Word we will end up spiritually empty, not ‘alive’, and feeling spiritually ‘dead’ – our faith dies.
‘Spiritual Dementia’ is far more prevalent than we may think. However, there is a cure. There is hope. If you find yourself suffering from these symptoms you can experience renewed life, but you must engage your most powerful weapon – your will.
We must choose to come to Jesus for our life. We must choose to feed on His Word. We must choose to walk in community with allies in our faith. We must choose to drink the living waters He offers us.
Healing from Spiritual Dementia begins by admitting our choices have led us to this place – we have forsaken the well of living water and tried to find life outside of God. We must return to Him, ask forgiveness and ask for the real life He has for us. We must choose to feed our heart and soul on the Word of God on a regular basis. We must also choose to interact with the people of God to walk in authentic, open and honest relationships allowing others to care for us, and to care for others.
Are you suffering from Spiritual Dementia? God is waiting to heal you when you turn to Him in humility; repent, remember, feed and fellowship.
Matthew 4:4
“Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’””
Psalm 103:2
“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits – “
Jeremiah 2:13
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
Isaiah 55:1
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”
Hebrews 10:24, 25
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
What Will You Remember?
Well, that time in life is upon me, the inevitable time when elderly parents begin to die. Sadly, my father appears to be dying…
I have experienced death only once before when my mother died 43 years ago. This is our first journey into old age, and the end of days. Dad suffers from dementia and has been hospitalized twice in the last month. I recently went down to Vancouver to be with him, my step-mother and siblings.
Prior to leaving for Vancouver I began to think through the impact of this situation on me emotionally… What do I feel about my father’s inevitable death? I am saddened or course, but back in his seventies I had the pleasure and privilege of leading him to Christ at a Promise Keepers event. Then, a couple of years later my brother and I baptized him at a Young Life Men’s Malibu Camp.
Did his life significantly change after his ‘conversion’? No, not really. Does he really understand all that transpired through the decisions he made? I don’t think so. Does he love the Lord? I don’t know. Does he want to be with Jesus in heaven? Yes.
So what can I do but love him, continue to pray for him and trust God’s faithfulness.
My father and I did not necessarily have the greatest relationship. Nor did we have a terrible relationship. He loves me and is proud of me and has told me so. Sure, we had some pretty difficult times over the years and I have had to get through some painful wounds.
Actually, when I was 11 years old I closed my heart to him. I won’t go into the details, but I basically decided that I didn’t need him anymore. I was wrong to do that of course. However, it became a reality I needed to overcome years later.
I love my dad and he loves me. He was never a great communicator though. Years ago I took him away on a special weekend, just the two of us. I thought this would be our big break through, the time when all the things I wanted to hear him say would be said, and we would miraculously have the deep meaningful relationship I had always wanted. But I discovered that a good day with dad was walking along the ocean’s shore amidst the glory of the Coastal Mountains, soaking up the warmth of the summer sun, and simply talking about the weather.
That’s not a slag, nor a judgment, nor a criticism – it’s just reality. And that’s OK.
I can choose to regret what wasn’t, or celebrate what was.
I have discovered I can choose what I will remember about my dad. I can choose to remember all the bad things; the wounds, the disappointments, the shortcomings, the hurtful words, the shattered expectations, the broken promises – you know the kinds of things we tend to struggle with. Or, I can choose to remember the good things; the kind words, the promises kept, the gifts, the pleasant surprises, the values he taught, the character he modeled, the leadership he provided – the plethora of goodness I experienced through my father.
I can hold onto the bad memories, or discard them into the ocean of God’s grace, mercy and love.
I can also hold onto the good memories, to celebrate the man and father he was to me, and the extension of God’s heart he has been as well, or lose the joy of that by holding onto the bad memories.
I choose to remember the good memories, and how God worked in and through my father in my life. I choose to celebrate the man he is, in all his imperfections, and how he has loved me and led me throughout this life.
I love my dad, and am grateful for who he has been to me. We have so much to celebrate and comparatively, so little to regret.
I am sure I am not much different than you. Your father was not perfect either. I do not know your story, but I do know you have memories worthy of celebration and gratitude, and memories worthy of discarding into the ocean of God’s grace, mercy and love.
What will you choose to remember? Let’s celebrate what was, and not simply regret what wasn’t. After all, our sons will have the same decision to make about us…
Romans 10:9-11
“That if you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.'”
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”