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It’s quite simple really. It does not take much time, but the impact is immense. I am surprised how meaningful and significant this has become in our relationship.
It has been going on so long I actually forgot from whom I learned this, but I know that someone else taught me this. He, whoever he is, indicated this was something he does to care for his wife and I simply thought, “I can do that!”
My wife loves it. She says it’s like water to a thirsty soul. In fact, she will tell you it is her favourite part of the day. And, if I can do this you can too. It’s not rocket science, it’s a choice.
So, what is this profoundly powerful, secret weapon I utilize to provide what my wife longs for?
Prayer.
Every morning, or perhaps more accurately ‘many mornings’, as I am heading out the door, or as Anne is heading out the door, I simply embrace her and pray for her. I sow gratitude, love and Truth into her. Like this…
“Father, thank You that Anne is a beloved daughter of Yours. Thank You that You delight in her and have promised to provide for all of her needs today according Your riches in Christ. I ask that You would fill her with Your love and enable her to love those You bring in contact with her. Thank You that Your steadfast love never ceases for Anne, and that Your mercies are brand new today. May Anne walk in the power of Your love and mercy today. Thank You for the gift she is to me. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Pretty simple.
However, it did take me a while to get it right, and shift from prayers to ‘change’ Anne, to prayers of delight and encouragement in the Truth. Anne helped me with that. A wise man once told me that your wife is not a problem to be fixed, but a mystery to be delighted in. I had to learn to stop trying to change her, and learn to love and appreciate her for who she is. Anne has been very gracious in helping me to learn this.
When we think of being Providers for our wives, we often think of money – bringing home the bacon so we can pay the bills. Certainly the economics of reality demand that we generate revenue for our families, but we carry a God-given responsibility to provide so much more to our wives.
In a broad-based survey done with married Christian women, the vast majority of respondents indicated that what they really wanted from their husbands was for them to provide spiritual leadership in their homes. In other words, lead by example by walking with Jesus. Cultivate an authentic relationship with Jesus as Lord.
What else do we need to provide to our wives? Love, Truth, prayer, companionship, a listening ear, delight, affirmation, time, service, gifts, physical affection – for her benefit, intimacy, safety, security, comfort, strength – physical, emotional, spiritual, and your heart: amongst many other things.
Scripture encourages us to actually ‘wash’ our wives in the Truth. That is a little bit of what my prayer does. I am trying to affirm and encourage Anne in the Truth.
We also need to provide our wives with initiative. In the fine print of our ‘man contract’ is a requirement for us to take initiative. You know those times when you have had a disagreement, you are hurt and she owes you an apology? There is no way you’re apologizing first – she needs to? Well, sorry pal, but you have to initiate reconciliation.
We must learn the 12 most difficult words: “I’m sorry for…I was wrong to…Will you please forgive me?” Even if she doesn’t apologize for whatever you think she needs to, you need to take the initiative to reconcile things.
The bottom line: we are required by God to provide our wives with love. Lavish her with love, yours and the Father’s heart for her as a beloved daughter. Love her sacrificially, as Christ loved the church.
Being a good provider means loving Jesus first and your wife second.
Ephesians 5:25, 26, 33
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word…However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,”
I Timothy 5:8
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Proverbs 30: 23
“Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up: a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress.”