Do you remember the “magic words”? Think back to when you were a child, and if your parents were similar to mine, you were introduced to the “magic words”.

These are the words that have a special power to them. They open locked doors and they transform hearts. There are only three of them, but the power they wield is way beyond their size. They are applicable to all manner of different situations and can be utilized by any human being capable of communicating.

They are often the first words we are taught as children. They are rehearsed over and over again by caring parents who know the power these words have to transform lives: the power these words have to help create good human beings.

The power of these words is so amazing that when used frequently they transform the heart of the user and the heart of the receiver. They actually facilitate change at the deepest level of our humanity.

Do you know these words? Do you use the magic words?

These words are of course, “Please”, and “Thank you”.

These words are not simply about being polite. They are in many ways the keys to being truly human.

“Please” is used in recognition of the fact that one should not simply demand something from someone. It indicates deference of some sort. It represents a realization that I should not force my will upon another. I must recognize their humanity – no matter who they are – and honor them by using “please” in my request.

Simply stated, using “please” with requests honors other people. It communicates respect, care, and value.

Of the three magic words, however, the real power lies with “Thank you”. “Thank you” contains a power far beyond our comprehension. “Thank you” is the expression we utilize to communicate gratitude, and the power of gratitude is enormous.

It has been said that a person without gratitude has lost part of their humanity. Zig Ziglar said,

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

Gratitude transforms discouragement into courage, sadness into joy, hopelessness into hope, failure into success, a morsel into a meal, nothing into something, heaviness into happiness, self-pity into strength, bitterness into betterness, selfishness into selflessness, fear into faith, and much, much more.

Gratitude has the power to transcend any scenario. Gratitude can change our hearts. Gratitude is the beginning of whatever transformation you want to initiate in your life. Gratitude is the catapult to launch you from what is to what can be – and from what is, to what really is. Gratitude is a choice to see beyond what you currently see. It is a choice to focus on what is, as opposed to what isn’t. It is a choice to focus on what you have, as opposed to what you have not.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? The answer is “yes”. It is both half full and half empty. However, seeing the “fullness” is a choice – that is gratitude. The more we choose to see the “fullness” and be grateful for it, the more we will see what we have to be grateful for.

What if all you could enjoy today was that for which you expressed gratitude for yesterday? Think about that for a minute…I know in my life there would be a few things missing…

We have so much to be grateful for: a Heavenly Father who loves and delights in us; a Savior who made a way for us to beloved children in the family of God; victory of the bully of our souls, the warmth of the sunshine; the scent of lilacs; to live in a country free from war; etc., etc., etc.

Think of what you are grateful for – which should only take the rest of your life due to the sheer volume of it. Now, think of who is responsible for that and thank them. Thank them regularly and repeatedly.

That’s called an “Attitude of Gratitude”, and it will transform your life!

“Thank you” are indeed the most magical of words.

Ephesians 5:20

“…always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

“…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”

1 Chronicles 16:34

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

Psalm 100:4

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”

He had never stepped into a church building before. He was raised with no real input whatsoever about the Bible, the claims of Christ, or God. All he had heard was negative comments about ‘the church’.

But something was stirring in his heart. He was drawn to be here. He was compelled at a certain level to find out what this was all about…

He had said ‘yes’ to attending a Wholehearted Husband’s event, even though he is not married – he is still a teenager. He works for a Christian businessman who thought this might be an opportunity for him to learn something about Jesus.

They had been talking about Jesus at work, and the businessman realized this young man was open-hearted. He was open to see how life could be different from what he had been experiencing so far.

So, it was with a certain degree of hopeful trepidation he agreed to spend a day in a church building with dozens of Christian men learning to become better husbands.

The first session impacted him deeply. The message was the “Father Heart of God” – the critical revelation upon which our marriages and our lives need to be built. The deep revelation that we are beloved sons of our Heavenly Father; that our Father delights in us!

What? A message of love and hope? That is not what this young man had experienced in his life thus far. He could sense his heart, like a bone-dry sponge, beginning to come alive in the waters of life.

At the break he shared with me how the message was resonating deeply within him. He wanted to talk more – this was paradigm shifting Truth for him. He had never heard a message like this before. I could see very clearly the Lord was powerfully drawing him home. We agreed to speak more at the lunch break.

We sat down after eating with 20 minutes before the next session. He poured his heart out further. His life was hopeless; he was at a dead end staring into an abyss. He needed a new beginning; he didn’t want to live in despair any more. It was clear this was his time to meet Jesus. It was time to trade in his ‘death’ for Jesus’ life. It was time to be born again.

How do I summarize the gospel in less than 5 minutes? Lord, please give me a picture that will resonate with this young man. And then the Lord gave me a very simple picture of the choice that lay before this young man – a choice that lies before each of us.

There are two ‘families’: One is the Family of God where our Father loves and delights in His children. It’s a family residing in a house of love led by a Father who longs for His children to know all that is in His heart for them – life, love, freedom, faith, hope, justice, peace, righteousness, and all the other attributes of life for which He has created, crafted and called us.

There is also a dark house. A house ruled by the father of lies who wants to abuse and oppress his ‘family’. He wants ‘his children’ to live in fear, hopelessness, despair, discouragement, hatred, enmity, jealousy, depression and all that is contrary to that for which we have been created by our loving Heavenly Father.

This young man knows what it means to live in this dark house.

However, across the street is the house filled with the children of God, and the Father is calling him to join the family. At the front of the house is Jesus, who is the doorway to being born again into the family of God to live in the delight of our Father.

So, do you want to continue living in the house of darkness with the father of lies, or do want to cross the street, meet Jesus and ask Him to be born again into the Family of God? This young man then said, “I have crossed the street and am standing in front of Jesus saying, ‘I want to join the family of God as a beloved son of my Heavenly Father.'”

So that’s exactly what we did.

Welcome to the family!

Acts 2:21

“And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

John 14:6

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'”

James 1:17

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

Click to watch “You’ve Got a Friend”

My good buddy Brad recently had a birthday. We had a little celebration at our house group that Brad and his wife Colleen happen to lead. He spoke affectionately about being able to share his special day with the special people gathered in their living room.

We sang happy birthday as Colleen brought in a cupcake with a candle for Brad to blow out. We all feasted on our own chocolate cupcakes following his lead. It was a simple heartfelt ceremony for a man we all know and love. Words were shared to somehow communicate our appreciation for Brad.

There was something I wanted to share, that I didn’t. Something I have noticed about Brad and how he lives life. Something I admire very deeply about him. Something I wish I could somehow clone from him and inject it into me. I wanted to verbalize a simple observation that has profound ramifications:

“Brad, you have many friends because you are a friend to many.”

Brad has an incredible capacity to befriend others; to care for others; to love others; to serve others; to give to others, to show interest in others. Simply put, he has friends because he is a friend.

He befriends people in many, many different ways. He shares a kind word. He offers practical help of some kind. He practices hospitality at home and at restaurants. He volunteers. He phones. He emails. He texts – just to see what’s up and how you’re doing. He gives his time, talent and treasure to others.

He has friends, because he befriends.

We all want friends. Oftentimes, people are desperate for friends, or friendship, to meet a need in themselves. We may feel lonely or discouraged or rejected, and want the friendship of others to make us feel better. Or we may be insecure about our own value and worth and look to others to make us feel better about our self.

Real friends do not look to others and ask “What can you do for me?”, they look to others and ask, “What can I do for you?”. They understand their lives are far richer when they spend themselves for the benefit of others, and far poorer when they spend others for their own benefit.

True friends are there when you need them. True deep friendship always begins with one person choosing to give, choosing to care. Sure you may encounter many people who will be willing to simply receive whatever you have to give without necessarily giving much back. But you will also find others who reciprocate with the same or similar degree of friendship you are offering.

Being a friend automatically creates friends. Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

Instead of asking who your friends are, I would encourage you to ask, “Whose friend are you?”

Who have you befriended? Who do you reach out to to offer care, encouragement, service, support, and camaraderie?

Henry Ford said, “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”

Whose best do you bring out?

Friends accept us for who we are, yet are still able to encourage us to be our best. Real friends will even pursue us when we try to push them away – when we may be lost in the dark.

Helen Keller said that, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”

Friendship is the greatest gift we can offer another human being. Friendship is love wearing work boots. Being a friend is choosing to be with someone in their need even though you would rather be somewhere else.

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing…not healing, not curing…that is a friend who cares.” Henri Nouwen

Friends are the essence of life. Friends are often the heart of God with hands and feet. We would be wise to make friends before we need them. What we sow we will reap. As we give friendship we make friends.

So, whose friend are you? It’s never too late to start…

Proverbs 17:7

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:14

You are my friends if you do what I command.

The room was full of people engaged in many different conversations, yet I heard it from clear across the room. I heard it not because it was loud, but because it was distinctive. I have heard it a million times before and can pick it out anywhere. It is subtle, sweet and very special.

It’s my wife’s laugh.

I have learned to discern Anne’s laugh, and obviously her voice for that matter. Play me the recordings of a thousand voices, or a thousand laughs, and I can pick out my wife’s. I know her tones, her intonations, her language, her inflections – I simply know her voice. I know what she sounds like. You cannot convince me that another voice is hers.

Why? Because we have spent thousands of hours in conversation. I have listened to her for decades. I have learned to discern her voice.

When we first met over 36 years ago I was not as familiar with her voice. I could easily have mistaken her voice for another when in a room amongst competing voices. However, the more time we spent together the more I got to know her. I not only became familiar with the sound of her voice, but the content of her speech.

There is a certain kind of language Anne uses, and a certain kind of language she doesn’t use. I am very confident there are many things I will never hear my wife say, words she will not use and expressions she will not utter.

Why am I so confident? Because I know her character. She has demonstrated consistent character for decades.

I know her voice and I know her character.

I would bet there are people in your life who are the same for you. Perhaps your spouse? A parent? A sibling? A friend? People you have spent time with so you know what they sound like and what values they bring to their speech.

So, how do we learn to discern the voice of the Lord in a similar fashion to that which I have described about my wife’s voice?

We know that our spiritual enemy engages in a Whisper Campaign of lies set against our heart to steal, kill and destroy all the life Jesus has for us. We must learn to discern that voice. And, we know that the Lord whispers words of life into our heart. We must learn to discern His voice.

How do we tell the difference between the two voices?

Here are some insights into how to do that I recently read in a daily devotional. It has been adapted from Come To Me © 2002 Discovery House Publishers, written by Elaine Martens Hamilton and Kathy Escobar:

When the Lord speaks to us it will be consistent with scripture. It will be consistent with His nature and character. It will lead to change, growth, hope, healing, encouragement, faith, restoration, peace, contentment, motivation, conviction, repentance or many other elements consistent with the nature and character of God.

When the enemy speaks it will be accusational, mocking or condemning and create fear, anxiety, despair, discouragement, guilt, shame, hopelessness, weakness, defeat, and many other elements that are consistent with the nature and character of our enemy – and contrary to that of God.

The Lord encourages; the enemy discourages. The Lord creates hope; the enemy hopelessness. The Lord brings conviction, which leads to repentance, which leads to life. The enemy brings condemnation, which leads to guilt and shame, which leads to death.

The only way we are going to learn to discern the voice of God amongst the Whisper Campaign of the enemy is to spend time with Him. Get alone with Him. Listen in prayer. Get to know Him. Get to know the character of God. Study how He has revealed Himself to His people through scripture.

Commune with Him.

Jesus said that His people know His voice. We familiarize ourselves with the voice of God by communing with Him, listening in prayer and studying His character through scripture.

We recognize a counterfeit by being familiar with the authentic. We identify lies, by knowing the Truth.

We learn to discern the voice of God by spending time with Him listening, and in His Word.

Jeremiah 33:3

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

John 10:27

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

1 Kings 19:12, 13

“After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?'”