What is a Wholehearted Man?
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Click to hear a powerful song “Rise Up O Men of God”
I had a good friend of mine ask me a simple yet profound question:
“So what is a wholehearted man?”
Wow, good question. It really made me think…
“Wholehearted” is defined as being ardent, authentic, committed, dedicated, determined, devoted, fervent, genuine, passionate, steadfast, true, unreserved, unwavering, and zealous.
Wholehearted men live out of a deep sense of passion, purpose, commitment, conviction, identity and life. But, what does it mean to be wholehearted in relation to God?
I think a wholehearted man is wholeheartedly following God and has been made “whole” by God.
Let me explain. It is not enough to believe in Jesus. It is not enough to know about Jesus. It is even not enough to know Jesus. Even Satan believes that Jesus is real, knows about Him and knows Him personally. No, the mark of a true believer, a true ‘follower’ is just that – they follow Jesus. They obey Jesus. They have surrendered their will to Him and are obeying Him instead of doing what they want.
Jesus said that if we love Him we will obey Him.
Wholehearted men have turned their backs on sin and doing things their way and have wholeheartedly thrown themselves into God’s way of doing things. God’s will, God’s way on a daily, moment by moment basis. They give Him all they have.
Wholehearted men are not “half-hearted” in how they walk with Jesus – a little bit of God when it’s convenient. Be God’s man on Sundays and then my own man the rest of the week. Call out to God when things are bad, but go silent when things are good. Keep one foot in the pleasures of the world, and one foot in the purposes of God. Count the blessings, but not the cost. Desire the life, without the death. Savor the salvation, without the sacrifice.
No, wholehearted men have hearts that are wholly His. All in. Men who have gotten out of the driver’s seat of their life and handed the keys to Jesus. Drive on Lord – I’ll go where you want, not try to talk you into going where I want to go.
Sure, no one is perfect, and I am fairly confident that is not what the Lord is looking for – that’s what His grace and mercy are all about. However, we have been given a will with which we can choose to surrender to God’s will or not. We have a will with which we can embrace humility and repentance when we mess us.
And, as we wholeheartedly pursue our Heavenly Father’s heart, through the redemptive work of Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit, we will have our hearts made whole by God’s work in us and through us. God’s overwhelming love – His great goodness and His good greatness – heals our wounds and sets us free from the ravages of sin.
Oh the great redeeming work of Jesus bringing God’s beloved sons and daughters back into an extraordinary relationship with our Father God. Hope, healing, freedom, favour, vision, blessing, victory, comfort, beauty, gladness, love – all part of our inheritance as children of God. Will we ever be completely made whole this side of heaven? I don’t think so, but there is far more wholeness for us than we can imagine.
It is certainly not easy to be a wholehearted man. It takes dedication, discipline, desire, determination and delight. God is looking for men who are wholeheartedly His. Men whose hearts are fully His. Men who are fully committed to Him. I think wholehearted men are continually praying, “Lord I believe, please help my unbelief.”, and then they keep moving forward with single-minded determination into more of God’s heart for them and through them.
We never arrive; we are always on a journey. It’s only by God’s grace we can walk wholeheartedly with Him with an iron will to obey, and a bended knee to surrender. Let us continue on. Let us press forward to be the wholehearted men that the Lord is seeking so that we might experience all that is in His heart for us. It’s not perfection He wants, simply a man who continues to pursue Him – wholeheartedly. To give him all that we’ve got.
Rise up oh men of God – give heart and soul and mind and strength to serve the King of Kings! Let’s give Him all that we’ve got!
Romans 6:12-14 (The Message)
“That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don’t give it the time of day. Don’t even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time – remember, you’ve been raised from the dead! – into God’s way of doing things. Sin can’t tell you how to live. After all, you’re not living under that old tyranny any longer. You’re living in the freedom of God.”
II Chronicles 16:9
“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”
Deuteronomy 1:36
“…except Caleb son of Jephunneh. He will see it, and I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on, because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly.”
It’s Not All About Jesus
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OK, before you think I am a heretic, let me explain.
We often hear that “It’s all about Jesus.” A favourite song of mine from many years ago was, in fact, “It’s All About Jesus”. Yes, salvation is found only in Jesus. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Jesus is God. Jesus is the only way to the Father. But that’s just it – He came to reconcile mankind to the Father.
Mankind’s sin had alienated us from the Father. Jesus came to make a way for the sons and daughters of God to be in right relationship with their Heavenly Father. He came to reveal the Father’s heart. “If you have seen me you have seen the father.” “I and the Father are one.” “When you pray, pray like this, ‘Our Father who is in heaven…’”
My point is this: Jesus came to connect us with our Father and demonstrate the heart of the Father to His children. Jesus was about the Father and the Father’s business.
Here’s how it applies to men in a profound way. Most men suffer from a performance-based mentality. In other words, we have grown up believing that our value and worth depends on how well we perform. This is a value system that was instilled very early on in our lives. Get good grades – you’re valuable. Excel in sports – you’re valuable. Succeed in work – you’re valuable. Make lots of money – you’re valuable. Achieve, accomplish, acquire and you are significant and valuable.
Sadly, with this belief we are never validated. We are never at rest. We are always trying to prove ourselves. How much is enough? Just a little more… Or, we have resigned ourselves to never being able to prove our value, worth, significance or manliness. Regardless, whether we are trying to prove our significance, or have resigned ourselves to never being significance, we will always carry a question mark over our lives instead of an exclamation mark.
The only thing that can settle the issue of our value, worth, significance and validation as a man is the revelation that we are beloved sons of our Heavenly Father. Scripture is very clear that we are beloved sons of God, and that is the source of our value and worth. Even Jesus needed to hear His Father validate Him. At His baptism and His transfiguration His Father said the same things, “This is my son whom I love and in whom I am well pleased.”
Basically, He was saying, “I love you and am so proud of you.”
This is what every man needs to hear from his Heavenly Father. This is the only thing that settles the issue of our value, worth and significance – it’s the Father Heart of God. It’s knowing that God delights in you as His beloved son. He rejoices over you with singing.
It’s imperative that you seek and discover God’s heart for you as a beloved son. To know that you have nothing to prove. You are loved and delighted in by God. You have been adopted as a son – born again – into the family of God by a Father who thinks you are awesome. Your Father longs for a deep intimate relationship with you as His son, a relationship so intimate that you call Him Daddy.
When you truly experience the Father Heart of God, and the deep heart revelation that you are a son He loves, your question mark gets turned into an exclamation mark. You settle the issue of your significance and you don’t have anything to prove. Now, your accomplishments are an act of worship out of love, instead of an attempt to prove your significance.
Discovering the Father Heart of God is a journey, it’s doesn’t happen through a quick prayer or instantaneously. It takes time. It’s a relational journey that begins with you asking God to reveal His Father heart for you and then watching, listening and experiencing what He begins to do. He can speak to you through myriad ways. Keep your heart open and listen.
Jesus came to make a way for you to be in relationship with God as His beloved son, and the revelation of that will change everything.
Jeremiah 3:19
“I myself said, ‘How gladly would I treat you as sons and give you a desirable land, the most beautiful inheritance of any nation. I thought you would call me ‘Father’ and not turn away from following me.’”
II Corinthians 6:18
“I will be a Father to you and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
Galatians 4:4-7
“But when the time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”
Jerry McGuire Got it Wrong
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Click to see the infamous scene…
Have you seen the movie Jerry McGuire?
It’s not a fabulous movie, but it is an interesting tale of failure, betrayal, brokenness, humility, integrity, loyalty, courage, love and redemption. Jerry is a great example of a poser. A puffer fish extraordinaire. He is also an example of someone who walks through brokenness and comes out the other end a humbler and better man.
A fairly prevalent theme on many fronts throughout the movie is “redemption”, including a very moving scene when Jerry returns to his wife after she had suggested they separate because of his seeming lack of for her. He comes back early from a road trip to profess his love and his need for her. He then utters a very simple line that has become a popular belief within North American culture as an indication of a fabulous relationship:
“You complete me.”
This romantic turn of phrase seems profound, powerful and a sign of true love, but it’s not true. Not only is it not true, but it is a dangerous belief. Your wife doesn’t complete you – Jesus does.
Does your wife add another dimension of life and the heart of God that you may not have experienced without knowing her? Sure. Are you joined together with your wife as one – no longer two? Yes.
However, you and I are only made complete in Jesus. We are made whole in Jesus alone.
It was first said by Blaise Pascal in 1670 that, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.”
If we buy into the Hollywood lie, “my wife completes me”, then we will look to her for life. We will look to her to meet our needs. This is not a good basis for a relationship. We end up bringing our needs to our wife and take from her instead of giving to her. We will look to get instead of give. She will inevitably let us down, resentments will begin to grow, divisions will appear, relationship will suffer and if not dealt with, marriages will break apart.
That deep place of need we all have, that relentless inner longing for life and love, can only be filled by Jesus. Can your wife express aspects of the life and love of God to you? Definitely. Is there much you can receive from your wife? Absolutely. Are you overwhelmingly grateful for who your wife is and how she gives to you? Hopefully. But you cannot look to her to meet your needs, you must go to Jesus. Will Jesus work through your wife to touch your heart? Yes, but your expectation must be in Jesus.
We have been called to love our wives in the same way that Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her. We are called to love our wives with a love marked by giving and not getting. If we will consciously shift our hearts to look to Jesus to meet our needs, and love our wives by giving selflessly, then we can simply receive whatever love our wives have for us and not measure their responses by some deeply felt expectation that inevitably they will not meet.
Look to Jesus to meet your needs. Allow Him to complete you, and out of His love working in you and through you lay your life down for your wife. Lay down your expectations of her to love you the way your expect her to. Lay down your expectations of her to be the wife you were hoping for. Surrender your expectations to Jesus and look to Him to work in you, then through you in a way that enables you to love your wife selflessly.
If you are able to live and love selflessly you will realize you wife’s love in a way that previously you couldn’t. Release her from the expectation that she somehow needs to complete you. Love her with a love marked by giving, not by getting – and the only way you can do that is through Jesus.
Jesus completes you, not your wife. He is your source of life.
Ephesians 5:25 (The Message)
“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting.”
John 14:6
“I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Philippians 4:19
“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
John 4:13
“Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'”
Got Grace?
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I went to a crazy event recently. It was an art show about “grace”. All of the art in the show depicted what the artists wanted to communicate about grace.
There was live music. Live poetic readings with background music. There were videos and slide shows. There were potters and painters. There were pots and paintings. And there were lots of people walking around experiencing this multisensory artistic extravaganza.
When we first arrived I was almost giddy with the revelry of the moment – it felt like we had arrived at some hip beatnik slam poetry event. I must say, I felt a little out of my element. I was having flashbacks to Mike Myers Beat Poem in the movie “So I Married an Axe Murderer”.
But then I started to settle into the moment and drink in what was going on, and the depth of what was being communicated. Wow. I was overwhelmed on many fronts. The art was amazing, but what was more compelling was what the artists were saying through their art. One “painting” was a blank canvass – totally white. The plaque underneath it simple said, “Grace is…a clean slate.” Another was a rock surrounded by the waters of a rushing stream, “Grace is…a river.”
Another display was a number of logs of various lengths standing upright with what appeared to be a random gathering of candles on top of them. You were encouraged by a sign to go up to the balcony and look down on the display. When looking from above you could clearly see the candles spelled “grace” – your change in perspective completely changed how you perceived what was going on.
Perhaps what spoke more to me about grace, than the art displays, was the walking art of people’s lives. I had the opportunity to connect with many people I hadn’t seen in quite some time, only to hear of difficulties they had or were still encountering, and how God’s grace was getting them through.
I learned a couple of lessons that evening: 1. Only broken people understand grace. 2. Grace cannot so much be defined, as experienced.
If we don’t know at a deep heart level that we are broken, we never understand our need for God’s grace and how incredibly amazing it is. Grace is poured out on the humble – those who are broken and know they need help.
It’s ok not to be ok.
We’ve probably all heard the standard definitions of grace and mercy as “grace in getting what you don’t deserve and mercy is not getting what you deserve.” There is an element of truth to those, but they are incomplete and simplistic as well. Grace must be experienced to be understood…
Grace to me is akin to a divine enveloping of overwhelming love flooding our being, whispering deep into our hearts, “Everything is going to be ok.” It may not be easy. It may not be pain free. It may not be finished. The resolution may not be quick. But we are not alone. God is with us. God is enough, and because of that everything is going to be alright – we are going to make it through.
So, in the midst of your brokenness; in the midst of your failures and shortcomings; in the midst of the overwhelming circumstances of life, God’s grace is available to you. God’s grace can see you through. God’s grace can envelope you with the love and strength you need to keep going and experience His peace in the midst of the storm.
However, the key that opens the door to grace is humility. God gives grace to those who confess their brokenness, lay down their own agenda and declare their need for Him; then put their trust in Him knowing that He is who He says He is.
Choose humility, turn from insisting on your will your way, cry out to God and then believe He is who He says He is. You will experience His amazing grace in the midst of the storms you are facing. He is enough, and that changes everything.
You are not alone – walk with Him and everything is going to be alright.
Got grace? Only the humble get it.
I Peter 4:5
“…’God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'”
Matthew 11:28-30
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (The Message)
II Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”