Called to Public Nakedness
Click for TED Talk on Vulnerability
“What did you just say?”
His face was etched with a look of shocked disbelief.
Yup, that’s what I said: “I feel like I am called to public nakedness.”
Now, before you go too far down that road in the corridors of your imagination let me explain…
I was speaking at a men’s weekend for a church in Winnipeg. We were having a fabulous time together: the Lord was doing some great things in the lives of the men and I was really enjoying reconnecting with the church that we had been part of for the 10 years we lived in Winnipeg. I was seeing some old friends that I hadn’t seen for probably 16 years.
At meal times I had the opportunity to speak with a number of guys I had known during our time in Winnipeg. We would catch up on what the Lord was up to in our lives. I was chatting with one person during a meal and found myself uttering the infamous phrase that led to his look of shocked disbelief. I had been sharing about the men’s ministry work I have been involved in through our Band of Brothers Boot Camps and my Wholehearted Men’s ministry. That’s when I indicated that sometimes it feels like God has called me to a ministry of public nakedness.
What I meant by that is really all about vulnerability. I believe that the Lord is able to accomplish some profound work in us and through us when we are willing to be vulnerable with others: when we are willing to expose ourselves a little; when we are willing to be seen; when we do not make every attempt to cover up shortcomings, weaknesses, doubts and failures to simply share shallow glory stories that no one can really relate to – or worse, to share nothing of depth at all.
I believe that when we are vulnerable we invite others in. It’s ok not to be ok. If you want to see vulnerability, read your Bible. The failures of many of the great fathers of the faith are scandalous. That is really what grace and mercy are all about.
We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to have everything all figured out and have it all together.
I am not saying that we should completely unveil all of our failures to everyone, but there is something very inviting about someone who is able to courageously and appropriately share an area of failure or doubt where they discovered the Lord in a profound fashion, or are still longing to discover Him.
Vulnerability opens the door to relationship. When you are vulnerable there is also a chance that you could get hurt, but that really is what relationship is all about. If we are not vulnerable and willing to trust, there can be no relationship. There can be no relating to each other.
What makes us vulnerable makes us relateable, approachable and embraceable. Vulnerability is a critical prerequisite for being wholehearted. How can we live wholeheartedly if we hide our heart? Not everyone is called to public vulnerability (nakedness), but those of us who live part of our lives publicly must be willing to be publicly vulnerable.
I believe we all benefit from choosing to be authentic and real. There is rich life when we choose to live vulnerably out of a deep sense of security in God – when we understand that our value and worth does not depend on how well we perform, but on the fact that we are beloved sons of God.
I encourage you to move forward in courageous vulnerability as you also drill deeper into the profound revelation that your value and worth is not based on how well you perform or how much you accomplish, but on the rock solid fact that you are a beloved son of your heavenly father.
Vulnerability is an opportunity for us to meaningfully connect with others and experience the power of God’s grace and love in a very authentic and real fashion.
I John 1:7
“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His son, purifies us from all sin.”
Galatians 4:4-7
“But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba Father.’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”
Of Pallets and Power Saws
“Hey Dave, try it like this…”
And with that, our capable leader grabbed one of the top boards of my pallet, turned it like a propeller on an airplane and twisted the board right off – with the nails left in the frame of the pallet no less.
Wow. I had been diddling away at this with my wonder bar and hammer to try to pry the plank off, and he did it in one clean action.
Let me explain…
Our pastor wanted to create a masculine back drop for our church stage by building it out of reclaimed pallets. He saw the idea online – it looks very cool. So, he put the word out to the men in the church to come to the church building Saturday morning to pull apart 100 pallets to get the wood we need to build the structure the next week.
It was quite ingenious the way we pulled these pallets apart: a couple of guys had circular saws and simply sawed off both ends of the planks of pallets on the top side, and the bottom side. These pallets were now only held together by the center frame. Six, six inch by ½ inch planks, 3 feet long, on the top side and the bottom side, nailed onto the center frame with two nails in each plank. If you grabbed each end of a plank and twisted it like a propeller it would typically pull right off the frame.
The method I was initially using with my hammer and wonder bar was slow, and I was cracking and splitting boards. Then along came our fearless leader to show me the way.
Ahhh yes, the male work bee for the church…what a great time to connect with other guys, have some fun, do some good, and flex or pull a few muscles.
Have you ever been to a guys’ work day with your church? It is always an interesting study. Some men are truly in their element – great handy men with all the tools, in their glory. Other guys, perhaps more like me, are not really in our glory but we are giving it our best shot. I think we are called “grunts” – we get the unskilled grunt jobs. Which is fine, because we all contribute.
However, you definitely don’t want to look bad at a men’s work day. You don’t want to be the guy who gets hurt, the guy who is an accident looking for a place to happen breaking things or hurting other people, or the lazy guy who just likes to “fellowship” and watch. But even if you are one of those guys, you end up being the butt of some good-natured poking, which is simply how guys bond.
It really is profound to see what men can accomplish when we work together. As I watched (while I worked) and saw the focus with which the men cut, pried, hammered, power-washed and packed those pallets, I was amazed. It is powerful to see men working together toward a common goal. And, it is even more powerful to be part of it. It really felt good to work hard alongside a brother until the job was done – when we were all tired, dirty, sore, satisfied and chowing down on “spud nuts”.
Man, I would like to see more of that. More men working hard together in unity toward a worthy goal – whatever that goal is. We are made to work and walk together for the greater good. I would encourage you this week to consider what that may look like in your life. Resist the propensity to live in isolation. Ask the Lord to help you see how you can work and walk with other men for the benefit of others.
Of pallets, power saws and profound change – I believe the Lord is in the midst of men working together for the greater good, working right along with us. And there is something so satisfying about that.
Psalm 133:1,3a
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!…for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life evermore.”
Colossians 3:23
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,”
Galatians 6:9,10
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
Help Me To See
I can’t believe they are talking.
Here I was in the middle of my presentation and there are two guys whispering to each other during one of the video clips. And then I began to notice a pattern…they talked during every video clip. The nerve of the guys. Don’t they know these are powerful and profound videos specifically chosen to illustrate a truth that can change their lives?
I began to look out into the darkened room to see if I could identity the culprits. There they were, right in the front row – right under my nose. As it turned out, it was really only one guy who did all the talking during the clips. After a few clips the reality of the situation began to dawn on me. One of the men was blind and the other man was describing the video clips to him.
Wow, what a beautiful picture.
One man couldn’t see what was going on and the other one could, so in an effort to help his friend “see” the bigger picture he was ardently describing the visuals. I was really overwhelmed by how profound this picture was. What a great illustration of friendship.
I think that is what true friends do – they help us see what we may not be able to. They don’t tell us what we want to hear. They don’t tell us untruths. They help us to see that which we cannot. When we are stuck and need help to get a grip on what is going on, good friends will come alongside and tell us what they can see from their perspective, and hopefully that perspective is based in truth – God’s perspective.
It is interesting reading the story of Job. His friends came alongside him alright, but they did not help him see God’s perspective. God then chastised them for not doing so.
If we go back to the story of my two new friends, it would have done no good for the man who was blind to have his friend describe something that did not accurately depict the video. It would not have helped him for his friend to describe a picture that he figured his friend wanted to see, he needed to describe the truth of what was going on.
Do you every find yourself in the situation where you have a friend who can’t really see things that clearly? He may be discouraged, disoriented, hopeless, or he may even be in error – he may be believing something that is not true. Your friend may even think that he is seeing things clearly – he might not realize that he is blind. One of your tasks may be to help him see that he isn’t seeing things clearly.
We all need friends who will speak the truth to us to help us see more clearly. And, we all need to be that kind of friend to others. Don’t be that guy who simply tells someone what they want to hear. I know I have greatly appreciated the men in my life who tell me the truth even when it hurts – they have risked my wrath to confront me with the truth. Your friend may not appreciate you telling them the truth, but you can wrap it in love and offer it to them, then encourage them to pray Bartimaeus’ prayer, “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me – I am a blind man and I want to see.”
Remember the picture of my two friends and ask the Lord who he wants you to help see the bigger story. Simply share the Truth and ask the Lord to open the eyes of their hearts; then encourage them to pray Bartimaeus’ prayer.
What a precious gift to have a friend who will help us to see – and you can be that friend.
Job 42:7
“After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, ‘I am angry with you and your two friends because you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.’”
Proverbs 27:6
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Ephesians 1:18,19
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe…”
What do You Want?
It was our first real home as a married couple – if you don’t count the room we had at bible school. The house was built in 1916 and the main floor was all ours. Tucked into a cozy little neighbourhood in Winnipeg we did the best we could to make this suite a home. We didn’t have much money so our furnishings were sparse. A discarded set of kitchen cabinets I found in the alley became our bookshelf. A 5’x5’ piece of carpet I once again found in the alley became our area rug. A borrowed kitchen set, a purchased used sectional. The only new piece of furniture we bought was our bed. We used the two tea chests from our move to Winnipeg as end tables, and used my desk from university as a dresser.
We didn’t have much, but we loved the fact that this was our first home together. We decided we were not going to have a TV. We didn’t want that distraction. So, for the first couple of years in our marriage we didn’t have a TV.
We began working with the youth in the church and I always liked to use movie clips to illustrate the message I was giving. It became a hassle to borrow a TV and VCR each week, so Anne and I began talking about buying a TV and a “video cassette recorder” – that’s what a VCR is for all you young guys out there.
So, I prayed, “Lord, should we get a TV and VCR?”
His answer surprised me.
“What do you want to do?”
What? What do you mean ‘what do I want to do’? I thought it didn’t matter what I wanted? I thought all that mattered is what God wants? Why is the Lord doing asking me what I want? – it’s irrelevant.
Ahhhh, but that is where I was wrong. As I worked through this with the Lord he began to show me that He actually puts desires in our hearts. He puts longings and desires in our hearts that lead us to Him and His purposes in our lives. We cannot shut our hearts down and pay no attention to the desires that reside there.
Sure, we have to be aware that desires can come from 4 places:
- The Lord
- The flesh
- The world
- The enemy
However, in an attempt to not be influenced by our flesh, the enemy and the world we have a tendency to totally shut out desire and completely miss what the Lord has put there. We tend to pray, “What should I do Lord?” as opposed to, “What do I want Lord?”.
We need to ask the Lord to help us open up our hearts to see the desires that He has put there and then walk with Him in the outworking of those desires.
The first question Jesus asked as recorded in scripture is found in John 1:38. When two of John’s disciples began to follow behind Jesus he turned to them and asked, “What do you want?”
When blind Bartimaeus was brought to Jesus, He once again asked the same question, “What do you want me to do for you?
Don’t be afraid to take a look into your heart and ask what you really want. Sure, there may be desires in there from the world, your flesh and the enemy, but the Lord can help you discern through those to discover the treasure of the desires He has deposited in you that help lead you to His heart for you and what He wants to do through you.
In discovering what you really want – the desires the Lord has put in your heart – you will discover His heart for you and His heart through you in a way that is a delight to you – it’s what you really want.
So, what do you want?
Psalm 37:4
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Mark 10:51
“’What do you want me to do for you?’ Jesus asked him.”
John 1:38
“’Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?’”